Genius In France - Weird Al Yankovic I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France yeah Genius in France genius in France
Hoom chaka laka hoom chaka laka hoom chaka I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SAT's
I'm not good looking
And I don't know how to dance
But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be a Genius in France genius in France genius in France
People say I'm a geek a moronic little freak An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber they'd have to water me twice a week
But when the mademoiselles see me they all swoon and shriek They dig my mystique they think I'm cest magnifique
When I'm in Paree I'm the chicest of the chic
They love my body odor and my bad toupee They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret And when I'm sipping on a perrier
In some cafe down in St Tropez
It's hard to keep the fans at bay They say sign my poodle s'il vous plait Sign my poodle s'il vous plait Hemenene humenene himenene homenene Poodle poodle
Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool A few peas short of a casserole
A few buttons missing on my remote control
A few fries short of a happy meal
I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel
But when I'm in provence I get free croissants
Yeah I'm the guy every French lady wants And if you ask 'em why you're bound to get this response He's a genius in France Genius in France That's right He's a genius in France Genius in France You know it He's a genius in France geniuse in France genius in France
I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
But the folks in France they don't seem to agree
They say Bonjour Monsieur would you take ze picture with me
I say oui oui That's right I say oui oui
Oui oui
He says oui oui
I'm dumber than a box of hair But those Frenchies don't seem to care Don't know why mon frere But they love me there I'm a genius in France
I'm a genius in France
Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
Gonna make those Frenchies scream You ze man You ze man You ze man Like a fine renoir waa waa I've got that je ne c'est quoi quoi
Like a fine renoir waa ooh la la I've got that je ne c'est Quoi quoi quoi oo we oo
Quoi quoi quoi oo we oo
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow
I'm a taco short of a combo plate But by some twist of fate All the frogs think I'm great Oh the men all faint and the women scream They like me more than heavy cream When I'm in versailles I'm a popular guy My oh my I'm as French as apple pie apple pie They think I'm awfully witty a riot and a half When I tell a stupid joke They laugh haw haw haw haw haw And laugh haw haw haw haw haw People in France have lots of attitude They're snotty and rude They like disgusting food But when they see me they just come unglued They think that I am one happening dude Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle Entre nous it's very true The room temperature's higher than my IQ But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu How did this happen I don't have a clue
I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm
I don't have any skills or grace or charm
And most people look at me like I'll covered with ants But I'm a genius in France Yeah genius in France genius in France
And I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back
I'm never never never never goin' back home again
I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket
Gonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it
'Cause I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back
The girls back home never gave me a chance
But I sho nuff got them frogs in some kinda trance
And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance But great googily moogily I'm a genius in France
Every Frenchie that I meet Just can't wait to kiss my feet Get in line pucker up Tout suite Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour Start with paces and drunk with power Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower
A little more to the left boys a little more to the left
A little more to the left boys a little more to the left
I'm the biggest dork there is alive
My mom picked out my clothes for me till I was 35
And I forgot to mention
I'm not even welcome at the star trek convention But the Frenchies think That my poop don't stink I'm a genius in France
Say would you pass the grey poupon
Merci beaucoup
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I'm not even welcome at the star trek convention But the Frenchies think That my poop don't stink I'm a genius in France