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Amish Paradise (Parody of 'Gangsta's Paradise' by Coolio) - Weird Al Yankovic As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an amish like me You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milking cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows fool And I've been milking and plowing so long that Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight were gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives Living in an amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice Living in an amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price Living in an amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An amish with a tude You know that's unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black fool If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare Were just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives Living in an amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys Living in an amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice Living in an amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an amish paradise
Hitching up the buggy, churning lots of butter Raised a barn on monday, soon I'll raise anutter Think you're really righteous Think you're pure in heart Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives Living in an amish paradise
Were all crazy mennonites Living in an amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites Living in an amish paradise
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Hitching up the buggy, churning lots of butter Raised a barn on monday, soon I'll raise anutter Think you're really righteous Think you're pure in heart Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little amlettes wanna
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