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I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
Nothing grew on the thousand acres For it was gravel and sand
One day father started digging in a field Hoping to find some soil
He dug and he dug and what do you think
Oil oil oil
The money rolled in and I rolled out With a fortune piled so high
Washington was my destination
And now who am I I'm the chosen party giver
For the White House clientele
And they know that I deliver What it takes to make them jell
And in Washington I'm known by one and all
As the hostess With the mostest on the ball
They could go to Elsa Maxwell When they had an axe to grind
They could always grind their axe well At the parties she designed Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
On the hostess with the mostest on the ball I've a great big bar and good caviar Yes the best that can be found And a large amount in my bank account When election time comes around If you're feeling presidential You can make it yes indeed There are just three things essential Let me tell you all you need Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall And the hostess with the mostest on the ball
Entertaining vodka drinkers Is a job they give to me
Making nice guys out of stinkers Seems to be my cup of tea
What they really need behind the iron wall
Is the hostess with the mostest on the ball
There's a book of regulations As to who sits next to who
But there might be complications When the blue blood's not so blue
So the priestess with the leastes protocol
Is the hostess with the mostest on the ball
An Ambassador has just reached the shore He's a man of many loves An important gent from the Orient To be handled with kid gloves He can come and let his hair down Have the best time of his life
Even bring his new affair down Introduce her as his wife
But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall Nor the hostess whoes the mostest With the mostest on the ball The Hostess With the Mostes' on the Ball - Ethel Merman
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But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall Nor the hostess whoes the mostest With the mostest on the ball The Hostess With the Mostes' on the Ball - Ethel Merman
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