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The Pot & Kettle - The Rumjacks
Written by:Francis McLaughlin
One smoky day in a darkened scullery
Done by the river in a factory town
Where bad things happen the walls are dripping
And the ghosts are flittin' frae the cold hard ground
A pot kettle on the hob were settled
A hissin' their patter so bilious cruel
An away matter o' clout claterin'
Battlin' wits in a hideous duel
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a chanty pot
And you're a shite for brains
But were both here hanging on the same old chains
I've roasted a wealth of exotic things
All torn to ribbons at the hands of kings
Polished copper how I proudly shone
Stealing the fire of the blazing sun
Ye've boilt nae mair'n 'em old soup bones
I've boilt the tea for them stately homes
I were rattled like a drum each hogmanay
Then scrubbed tea the devil on the follwin' day
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a chanty pot
And you're a shite for brains
But were both here hanging on the same old chains
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a chanty pot
And you're a shite for brains
But were both here hanging on the same old chains
O kettle yer metal is a terrible hue
Riddled wi' holes cannae hold yer brew
Yer lids all crooked yer sides bashed in
It'll no be long afore ye see the bin
Pot your not so bright as me
A hags old cauldron is all you'd be
You reek o' gruel your enone too young
Fit for to carry but the peels dung
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're an old piss bucket
You're a dented can
But we're neither as black as that roasting pan
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a chanty pot
And you're a shite for brains
But were both here hanging on the same old chains
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a chanty pot
And you're a shite for brains
But were both here hanging on the same old chains
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're an old piss bucket
You're a dented can
But we're neither as black as that roasting pan
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a chanty pot
And you're a shite for brains
But were both here hanging on the same old chains
Lids a rattlin' belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're a lowly villain
You're a terrible liar
But were both here cooking on the same old fire
Guts a bubbling belching steam
Life ain't nothing but a fevered dream
You're an old piss bucket
You're a dented can
But we're neither as black as that roasting pan