The Great Debate (伟大的辩论) - Randy Newman
Written by：Randy Newman
Welcome welcome welcome to this great arena
Durham North Carolina the heart of the Research Triangle
We've come to this particular place tonight
'Cause we gotta look at things from every angle
We need some answers to some complicated questions
If we're going to get it right
To that end we have here gathered
Some of the most expensive scientists in the world
Eminent scientists that is
We got biologists biometricians got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians
Got a cosmologist and a cosmetician got an astronaut
We got Astro Boy
We got he-doctors she-doctors knee doctors tree doctors
We a got a lumberjack and a life coach
On the other side we have the true believers
We got the Baptists the Methodists Presbyterians
The Episcopalians are here pass the hat
We got the Shakers the Quakers the anti innoculators
The Big Boss Line from Madison Town
The Six Blind Boys Five Tons of Joy
Give 'em room get out of the way
We got a Bible Belter from the Mississippi Delta
Have them all arranged
Scientists are you ready
First question dark matter
Oh dark matter
Give me someone knows somethin' about space
The Scientists send a representative
Nice space music Georgie
All right what is it
Where is it
Can we get some
Stand up sir would you
You are standing forgive me
Dark matter go ahead
Dark matter is out in space
It's seventy-five percent of everything
Just a moment sir
Do yourself a favor use our music
People like it and your music's making people sick
All right
It's a free country go ahead
Dark matter what is it
We don't know what it is but we think it's everywhere
I'd like to take a look at it
Can we get some down here
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Of course not
Let me get this straight
You don't know what it is you don't know where it is
And we can't get any
Put that to the one side
Let's put the Lord faith eternity and whatever on the other side
Show of hands
I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus every time
I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus every time
Yes I will yes I will yes I will yes I will
I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus every time
All right one nothing
Next one's gonna be a hard one
It's about the theory of evolution and it's about animals also
So give me someone knows somethin' about evolution and animals
Who you got
Wow you're a beautiful woman aren't you
Doesn't matter of course
But if this science thing doesn't work out for you
Oh don't boo me don't boo me
I'm just kiddin' you you know that
Here's my question explain me the giraffe
Go ahead
Elaborate
With pleasure miss
The giraffe to survive must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree
That's true isn't it
Of course it is
Everyone knows that
But Mr. Darwin's giraffe the halfway-giraffe
With a halfway-giraffe neck
Could never have reached the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba
Therefore he could not have survived
It's only common sense
Unfortunately for you Mr. Charles Darwin
Didn't have any common sense
Evolution is a theory and we have just now tonight disproved it
Show of hands
I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus every time
I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus I'll take Jesus every time
Yes I will yes I will yes I will yes I will
I'll take Jesus every time
All right two nothing
Next question global warming
Is it and if so so what
One of the true believers seeks to be recognized
Hand him a mic Charles
Thank you
Sir do you know what you are you're an idiot
You're a strawman a fabrication
You see the author of this little vignette
Mr. Newman self-described atheist and communist
Creates characters like you as objects of ridicule
He doesn't believe anything he has you say
Nor does he want us to believe anything you say
Makes it easy for him to knock you down hence a strawman
I myself believe in Jesus
I believe in evolution also
I believe in global warming and in life everlasting
No one can knock me down
Oh we can knock you down Mister
We can knock your communist friend down too Communist
You call me an idiot
We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years
Like this page 35 Georgie
Mrs. Dorothy page 35
I know someone is watching me
Everywhere I go
Someone sees everything I see
Knows everything I know
When I'm in trouble don't have a friend
There's still somebody on whom I can depend
Someone who'll be there 'till the very end
Someone is watching me
Someone is watching me
Someone is watching me
For so long I was too blind to see
Someone is watching
Someone is watching
Someone is watching me
Take a little break ladies and gentlemen
Fifteen maybe twenty-five minutes depending on how the merchandise is moving
We'll be right back
